20 things I learnt by the time I hit 30 thanks to living in NYC and Australia

Hi everyone,

As many of you will have pieced together via my social posts scattered throughout the globe over the past couple of months, life has yet again taking me on one incredible adventure. Yes, I am back in NYC yet again, and no, this wasn’t a result of some schemed plan!

In August 2015, I posted honestly, with my hand on my heart, that I was excited to move to Sydney Australia, and that it felt like the exact right thing for me to be doing for the next chapter of my life…

Merely three months ago, I was sitting in my apartment in Sydney, balling my eyes out over the phone to my mother as a result of a combined absolutely horrific roommate living environment, and yet another disappointing episode involving my heart.

If anyone would have told me that I would be sitting here today in a gorgeous new home in the upper east side of Manhattan that has been put together in merely a few weeks as a team alongside an Irishman who is the most considerate, beautifully hearted and inteligent man that I have ever met, I probably would have laughed.

Not because I was closed to the idea, but because it seemed merely too far fetched from where I currently was at.

As I approach my 30th birthday, and close what has been the most incredible decade of my life, where absolutely nothing has gone to what some would call “the plan” – I sit here feeling more nourished to my core than ever.

My boyfriend asked me just last night whether I was feeling emotional about turning thirty, and my response was “not really, I don’t have a timeline”;

What did bring about the emotions however was the flashbacks that followed of everything I had been through over the last decade.

The last decade has seen me shift continuously between continents, travel solo from country to country, have my heart broken a multitude of times, have copious career goals not achieved, a few career highlights that will remain with me forever, many insanely difficult conversations with loved ones…

Yet overall, it has provided me with the most incredibly eye opening experiences that have allowed me to learn who exactly I am as a young woman in todays ever changing world.

I felt as the Travelling Dietitian, as I come to a close of my twenties, that it was fitting to share 20 of the most important things I had learnt by the time I hit 30 thanks to living across borders in NYC and Australia.

So here goes!

1. You can’t change people, but you can change your environment

Often we run into barriers where we feel frustrated and misunderstood as a result of those around us not seeming to understand the way our minds work.

If people are happy in the way they go about their own lives, they are very unlikely to change as a result of how it is effecting you.

We are responsible for our own emotions, and if the interactions we are having on repeat are undesirable, then it is up to us to either change our responses, or shift our environment to offer us a more supportive framework for evoking positive interactions.

2. It is the strongest characters that are able to be vulnerable

Wearing your heart on your sleeve, putting yourself out there time and time again after being unappreciated or hurt, and sharing your emotions irrespective of what is going to come back your way, takes immense strength of character.

It takes an incredibly internally strong character, and is a highly respectable quality, to love and trust yourself enough to be vulnerable.

3. Having boundaries does not push the right people away, it earns respect

Many people shy away from saying what it is they need in a relationship as a result of not wanting to be confrontational.

Speaking up to those in your life to clarify what it is you need (as long as it is reasonable), be it with a romantic partner, in a friendship, or beyond, will ultimately earn respect, and result in more positive interactions from the people that are truly meant to be in your life.

4. Diverting from your initial plan if it is not bringing about the desired outcome is not a sign of failure, it is a sign of an intelligent open mind

So many times do people feel as though they have failed as a result of not achieving the initially stated outcome; They feel as though diverting their plan is a sign of weakness.

It takes a mature and intelligent open mind to shift directions, and ultimately can lead to an even greater chance of successful outcomes (they just might be different outcomes than once envisaged).

5. Let the flow of the people in your lives naturally run their course

As we evolve through our individual life experiences, the nature of the relationships with the people that have been in our lives will unquestionably change.

Social interactions are an extremely influential component on our mental health;

Trying to force friendships, or relationships, that are clearly not encouraging our best selves to shine, can cause more harm and dissatisfaction than good.

Sometimes we need to let the old out in order to make space for the new that are going to nourish us as our present selves.

New wonderful friends that came into my life as others moved out.

6. Listen to those that you respects insights, but ultimately make the decision that sits most comfortably with you

So many times do others have opinions on the choices we make in our own lives.

It is up to you to decide what makes most sense for you and your life.

You are the one that is going to have to live with your decisions daily, so make sure your decisions reflect what feels most right to you at your core.

Family – whom I love and value opinions of, but who still leave it to me to make the decisions which are best for me.

7. Those that truly care about you can hear your silence

My mentor said this to me once, and it really struck a cord.

If someone does not notice your silence, then they are not the person that is supposed to be in your life.

Platonic, or romantic, those that truly care for you will always feel your absence.

8. Our energy is our most valuable asset, expend it wisely

“Time is your most valuable asset” has been said time and time again, and therefore one may expect that the things and the people we spend our time on or with should ultimately reflect our priorities in life.

I have come to the realisation however that it is not merely time, but rather our energy, that is our most valuable asset.

It is the people, work, causes, activities, and thoughts, that we invest our energy into that ultimately make up our lives, and will leave us feeling reinvigorated, or drained.

Your energy is valuable, choose how you expend it wisely.

Producing nutrition education videos that I am passionate about!

9. Assumptions can be your worst enemy, don’t make them

We often draw conclusions in situations based on assumptions that we make as a result of previous experiences we have had.

Every situation is unique in its own right. By removing assumptions, and giving people a chance to explain their actions before responding emotively, we are able to defuse copious amounts of unnecessary confrontational discussions, and nurture relationships, rather than tarnish them.

10. Your mind is your biggest ally or your worst enemy – keep it in line

Our thoughts not only impact our actions, but they can literally change our physiology.

Negative thoughts that increase our stress response can leave us feeling anxious or depressed, whilst positive thoughts can push us to create all types of unimaginable magic!

We can be our own best friend, or our worst enemy – keep your mind on your side.

11. It is okay to have values, opinions and life ventures that differ from those around you

Different does not equate to wrong;

As confronting as it may be to others around you, knowing what you stand for, and experiencing life in your own unique way, will lead to you blossoming into the clearly unique person that you were born to be, and ultimately lead to you being able to enrich the lives of those around you.

I love and respect all the members of my family dearly, but I have still chosen to live a very different life to most of them in order to be true to myself.

12. Feel appreciative, and show your acknowledgment for everything,

from the people, to the small things, that support or bring happiness into your life

This one is straight forward; Don’t take things for granted. Friends, family, pets, loved ones, jobs, health, and more, can come and go from your lives at the blink of an eye.

Life can throw us all off balance at times.

Appreciate the good when it is there, and hold onto it as much as you can.

So appreciative of these wonderful women who taken me under their wings in NYC!

13. If you want to truly feel alive, you have to step out of your comfort zone, continuously

We will never be able to fly, if we don’t jump.

Trying new activities, travelling to new places, speaking to new people, pushing ourselves into and through challenging situations..the list is endless.

If we stay in our comfort zone, we miss out on experiencing all that life has to offer us in return.

Moving to Sydney on a whim lead to me falling in love with a new city and having one of the most incredible years of my life!

14. If you want to experience the upmost highs possible, you will have to endure the lowest of lows

The good doesn’t typically come without some of the bad. Push through the harder bits. The ups won’t come if you don’t show up. It’s worth it. Push through!

Graduating with my Masters in Entrepreneurship and Innovation after years of study!

15. Confidence stems from within – in order to feel confident at the end of the day, it has nothing to do with external accolades, it is about feeling proud of how far you have progressed, and loving yourself wholeheartedly

As much as positive encouragement from those around us can aid us with a helping hand, it is up to us to acknowledge the positive impact we have on the world around us, and to see the the beauty that we bring to the table each and every day.

Publishing my book – something that took hard work, but will be with me forever as an achievement that I can feel proud of myself for from within.

16. Peoples actions are a reflection of where they are at in life, do not take it personally

When someone acts inconsiderately or unkindly, it is almost never personal.

By responding empathetically, rather than taking offence, you are able to leave a situation feeling far more confident and happy within yourself.

17. You are the only person at the end of the day that is responsible for your happiness

Taking a moment to work out what it is you need to be happy, instead of expecting others to fulfil you, will lead to you feeling far happier and stronger, and experiencing much healthier relationships at the end of the day.

Enjoying the beautiful waters in American Samoa after I finished my volunteering project.

18. Trust your gut instincts, always

Your instincts are right. That boyfriend that is pulling away is saying he needs space, that meeting that went really well with the boss, is leading to something greater, that part of you that says you are meant to book a ticket overseas and move to another continent needs to be listened to.

When we get in tune with our gut instincts, we open up the possibility for our heads, hearts and lives to align seamlessly.

My gut instinct has told me time and time again to return to the USA – each time it has been the best adventure of my life.

19. People will not always treat you how you treat them, they will treat you how you allow them to treat you

I used to think that if you treat people how you expect to be treated, they will automatically mirror this behaviour.

After many harsh experiences, I have learnt that people will treat you how you allow them to treat you, rather than merely how you treat them.

When we express our standards, those that truly want to be a part of our lives will rise to the occasion.

20. There are many different love languages; understand that those around you may express or require different actions in order to feel loved.

Some people require intimate time, others require gifts, some need more physical touch, whilst others need to see acts of kindness or hear affirming words;

Whomever it is that you care for, by knowing their love language, you are able to both show your love and appreciation towards them in a way that they understand, as well as acknowledge when they are trying to show you that they care for you (particularly if it is a different love language than you would traditionally speak).

My family all have different love languages, but by understanding how we each express our love and want to receive it, we are able to make sure everyone feels cared for at all times.

I’m sure there are many more take aways from the past decade, but I think signing off on 20 as a wrap up of my twenties seems appropriate!

As I have flash backs from living in Melbourne, studying in upstate New York, solo trecking throughout Europe, living in NYC, living in Sydney, and once again being back here in Manhattan, I can’t say I have a clue where I will be in 10 years time…

However if the last decade is anything to go by, and the future continues to unravel as per my gut instincts lead me, I can be sure that I will certainly be having one hell of an exciting adventure filled with laughs, tears, successes, losses and everything in between that makes life exactly what it is meant to be, the enriching experience that it is.

If you have stayed on this post until the very end…thank you 😉

I hope there have been at least a couple of take-aways and thinking points that can be of benefit to your own life, and that you too put in the actions to live your most fulfilling and happy life possible.

Until next time,

TD x